Parent’s-who are you taking your cues from? In other words, who are you looking up to and learning from? Whether someone from your past or the present, we ALL take our cues from someone. They’re that person you watch whose actions challenge you to be a better parent. Someone whose life serves as an example for how you think you should parent your own children. I’ve been blessed with Godly parents. Were they perfect? Absolutely not. I’m sure if I tried hard enough I would be able to list what I consider as a few of their faults (Sorry, Ronnie and Pam Rhodes). I’m also confident if they were to create their own list of perceived failures it would be much longer. Why? Because as parents we tend to be our worst critic. We focus on our worst aspects rather than what we’re good at. Let me debunk the greatest parenting myth of all times. You WILL make mistakes. You are never going to be the perfect parent. There. I said it. Sorry to burst your bubble. Even this morning was a true parenting failure for me though I’ll save that story for another blog. Lately I find my son watching my EVERY move. Quite frankly—It scares me to death! The little stinker follows me around constantly. When I shave he wants to pretend he’s shaving. As I’m getting dressed and putting on deodorant or cologne he’s beside me responding, “Pray [spray] me, Daddy—‘pray’ me!!” At times he’s my little shadow. While I think it’s cute reality kicks in a reminds he’s watching me. I frequently question if I’m being the Father I need to be for BOTH my children, my daughter included. My son takes his “How to be a man/father” cues from me. My daughter takes her “How a man should love and treat me” cues from me. If I’m being transparent I’ve- as recently as yesterday- thought, “Maybe my kids would be better off with someone else as their father because I SUCK at this!!” [pardon the crude language but I’m sharing my honest inner-dialogue]
Looking at my children is like looking in a mirror. Sometimes I don’t like what I see because their actions reflect my own bad habits. It’s a reminder of my own failures. At times I don’t feel like trying because I know I’m going to screw up. Unfortunately, not trying isn’t a valid option. It’s my job to “train up” my children in the way they should go. God has entrusted me (and my wife) with this responsibility. And it is a great responsibility. The word reminds us, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.” [Mark 9:42] It’s a fact—I’m going to make mistakes—LOT’s of them. But that doesn’t grant me a free pass not to try to be the best parent I can be. Every action I take should point my children right back to God. I’ve encouraged my children on many occasions to dust themselves off and try again. Sometimes I’m forced to practice what I’m preach. Parent’s—who are you taking your cues from? You will fail. It’s a fact. But allowing things to take our focus from our Heavenly Father isn’t a valid option. God is the ultimate example of Father/Mother of the Year. [Yes, I included mother’s. We are ALL made in his image so, apparently, He has female characteristics/attributes of some type. Please don’t attempt to engage me in a theological debate – just hear my heart] Parent’s-our children aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for love and acceptance. Coincidentally, God isn’t looking for perfection either. He’s looking for someone willing to do give their best on the journey. And that can be said of most anything we involve ourselves in. The object of your focus will determine your successes or failures. Who are you taking your cues from?
Final thoughts: Keep your heads held high, parents. Things won’t always turn out the way they are supposed to. Thankfully, transparency breeds endearment. If you make a mistake own it, fix it, and move on. Wallowing in past regrets benefits no one. Coincidentally, most of the ideals mentioned in this particular blog can be applied to most any life situation, not just parenting. Just a thought. God bless you in the journey!