It happened. And I’m not proud of it. I flew my ‘crazy’ flag high last night. Thankfully, the only ones awake to see it were Leroy (our guinea pig) and Bella the Elf (on a shelf)—and I’ve convinced them to keep it quiet. Around 10pm I just had a meltdown. I just kind of lost it-though I tried to do so quietly as my wife was asleep on the couch. When you’re in ministry work Christmas is the craziest time of the year. This year has more hectic than any other I’ve experienced in a while. Let’s review–In a span of less than 20 hours yesterday we had three deaths in our church. I will most likely be taking part in all three of those funeral services. My heart is aching for those families but there’s not much I can do but pray and be there when they need me. I will be directing our church Christmas play in less than six days and I’m not convinced the cast is completely ready. I have a stage and set that need to be decorated and arranged for the aforementioned play. I am the PTO President and School Improvement Chairperson at my daughter’s school where I will be involved in three different projects in the next two weeks. I have a doctor and dentist appointment this week I need to attend to. We have bought and wrapped (thank the Lord) our Christmas presents but, being the consummate over-achiever, I feel like everyone is going to turn their noses at what they’re receiving. I want to buy everyone huge elaborate gifts as my wife is pumping the brakes and telling me to chill. Let me break it down into 6 words for you. Tis the season…..for a meltdown. And, boy, I sure did. I could keep listing my grievances but I have limited space and I’m pretty sure you’d stop reading after a while.
So– I quit! That’s right. I quit! Last night when no one else was aware of it I quit everything and went to bed. In my mind I resigned from every last responsibility and climbed into my sleep number bed–where I intended to stay until December 26. Fast forward to 6:20 am this morning. The alarm clock went off and I hit the ground running to begin my day. An hour later I forgot I had quit everything but it was too late. My bed was cold again and I had things to do. You see, I have a problem. I think I’m a superhero. I think I can carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and solve everyone’s problems. I can’t. It’s not my job and I’m simply not equipped to fix everything. Then I remembered something. Thousands of years ago Jesus said something He intended me (and you) to remember in moments like these. He said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” [John 14:27] Well, shoot! I guess that means I am the problem in this whole equation leading to my Christmas meltdown. Time to put the superhero cape back in the closet where it should have stayed. I simply can’t take away the pain these three families are experiencing. It’s not my job to make sure this Christmas play and all these school projects turn out perfectly. I don’t have enough money to buy everyone the things I want to buy them. I can’t carry these burdens by myself. And I was never intended to. That’s why I have God on my side.
Closing remarks and encouragement: Chances are, like me, you’re carrying a lot of burdens and frustrations this season you were never meant to carry. We can’t control everything around us but we can accept the peace He every single minute of every day. Things will happen. Nothing is ever perfect. But peace is a wonderful gift to receive and enjoy when we allow ourselves to. Take a step back from the craziness and focus on what matters. Do what you can do and let the rest take care of itself. Enjoy His peace today!
**Sorry if you see typos-lots to do. But remember–I just admitted I’m not a superhero any longer 🙂