Disturbing the droning sound of our car tires on the asphalt my wife stated matter-of-factly, “I understand it now.” “Huh?” I replied, confused as I had been lost in my own thoughts. “I think I understand it now……“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death….”” she said. Then I knew. Not many are aware aside from our close family, but during the last few months of the year my wife began experiencing some discomfort in her body. For a few months, as many of us would, she brushed it off assuming it would go away. It never did so she went in for a visit with her doctor. After an uncomfortable procedure we were informed she would need to go in for more in-depth testing as some things were still showing up abnormal. From that moment forward I watched as my wife experienced an onslaught of attacks from the enemy on her mind. Day after day I could see the worry she tried so hard to hide, the questions swirling in her head, the frustration of having to wait even longer to find out for sure. And I knew the root of it all. The real question she would ask me in private, “Is it…..could it be cancer?” I watched, feeling helpless, as she walked through each day while wave after wave of emotions and thoughts slammed against the walls of her mind. One such thought she didn’t share until much later-“Our kids are the same age you and your brother were when you lost your mother.” It was true as my own mom had been tragically killed in a car accident. Days were long and filled with emotion. Almost our entire Christmas break was spent waiting for ‘the call.’
I have to admit, the 23rd Psalm is definitely one of my favorites. This Psalm has always seemed (to me) like a true representation of life. Life is filled with ups and downs. Being a Christian leaves you feeling like you have a split personality as we are living in two places at once. Our spirits long for our true home (heaven) while our flesh longs for the things of this world. It’s a daily struggle. One minute we find ourselves in those green pastures or walking beside still waters; the next going through the valley surrounded by the shadow(s) of death. Here’s the part I love so much-even in those scary moments the Shepherd is ALWAYS there. He never left. When you’re waiting to hear if you have cancer, whether a loved one will make it, or a myriad of other emotions the Shepherd is only as far away as you’ve allowed yourself to wander. And He will allow you to wander a little; but He’s always waiting with arms wide open for you to come back. Not because He has to but because that’s what a true Shepherd does. Being in the presence of our enemy can seem scary, especially if we’re walking alone. But, according to scripture, it’s necessary. We can’t experience the table He has set before us until we endure being “in the presence of mine enemies”. I firmly believe David’s admission early in the Psalm, “I shall not want,” was a proclamation on his part; a choice, if you will. He was aware of his Shepherds ability to provide and protect. He was speaking from experience.
Closing remarks and encouragement: Thankfully, ‘the call’ revealed my wife did not have cancer. Here’s the interesting thing I realized while walking through that valley with her– Even if she had been diagnosed, it wouldn’t have changed anything I know to be true about the God I serve. I don’t know what you’re experiencing today. But I do know, if you’ll look around you, the Shepherd isn’t very far away. Call out to Him. Though you may feel lost, He is never lost. He will meet you right where you are bringing comfort, healing, or whatever you need!